Let me introduce you to the old Rosa.
This was me: Graduating with honors, checking every box that needed to be checked in the life I treated as an exam. By the age of 25 I was well on my way, married and living on a renovated houseboat.
The paint on our house was still wet when the next step in my neatly curated life knocked on the door. But for some reason, I could not let it in…
I was frozen in the stagnant energy of controlling the uncontrollable. I felt restless and guilty for being unhappy. Night terrors and sleepwalking were part of every night and my hunger for distractions became insatiable.
I now know that this hunger was not only the urge to hide in distraction, but also the deeply rooted need to feed my soul, as the impressions life contribute to growth and expansion.
The seriously neglected spiritual side of me looked like the average plant I try to keep alive. Sad and dry.
My family tried to gently remind me of the importance of meditation as they saw the fire in my eyes die down. I yawned after yet another night of sleepwalking (or rather sleeprunning as I found myself panicked out in my closet) when my father mentioned the importance of raising our consciousness to me again.
My father is like a wise Dumbledore (yes, that one from Harry Potter, but without the beard) who has written two books on esoteric wisdom and soul growth.
I should have known better with this kind of guidance nearby right?
But being a notorious people pleaser with the fear of not being lovable if people couldn’t understand or relate to that spiritual side of me, I tried to force myself into someone who was very much perceived as a ‘success’ in conventional society.
I was afraid of connecting with my internal world and authentic self so I kept myself busy and externalized.
Of course, that behavior was not sustainable at all. My need to expand was palpable and I decided to take a solo trip. I traveled to Ubud, Bali, to take in some sunsets and get a taste of that yogic lifestyle.
A dear friend told me about an Astrologer, someone she thought could offer me some clarity.
With 3 million rupiah in my pocket, I wandered the hot streets to find him. To this day, I am so grateful to have met him and his little air conditioned space as I was close to a (literal) meltdown.
(Little did I know I would become a professional Astrologer myself)
That reading was a turning point in my life. It gifted me SO MUCH clarity and encouragement to ground down in who I was and what I needed. What my SOUL needed.
He pointed out I would reach my Saturn Return near my 30th birthday, that would ask me to take radical responsibility for my life. To prepare, he asked me this: ‘are you willing to solidify who you are today, as you grow into your 30s?’
The answer that bubbled up inside of me: HELL NO.
And here I am, in my 30’s, deeply rooted in who I am and what I’m here to experience.
>Have I magically flipped a switch to get to the point where I am now, even coaching other people?<
Nope. And let me tell you: I also did not transform my life alone.
Life took me to places that made me realize I needed to surround myself with people who were already doing what I wanted to realize (feeling whole and living a fully expressed, soul-guided life).
I needed someone to help me see my blindspots and inspire me to step outside of my limiting beliefs and insecurities. Someone who would cheer me on while nobody else might understand my journey.
So I jumped. I hired my first coach. Within 6 months my life changed in all the good ways. I left my 9 to 5 (which was my personal goal) and learned so much more I could not even have imagined beforehand. SO much more clarity, direction and inner peace. The initial jump was terrifying.. but let me tell you:
I’ve invested in a car in my life. After driving it, it had no more worth.
I’ve invested in laptops in my life, after using it up, it had no more worth.
I’ve invested in a mentor, after closing the program, it’s worth has been multiplying every single day.
Living my live in alignment… reclaming my magic and being connected to the rythyms of life and the Cosmos – is a wonderful result of hiring support. I am so grateful I get to live my life guided my SOUL. To have become more of who I am and to bring my soul mission into the world.
I would love that for everybody..
I did not do everything alone, you don’t have to do it alone either.
If you want to chat, and see if personal support from me is in alignment for you, check out his page and fill out the form so we can talk.
I am a real human on the other side of this email, feel free to contact me 🙂
I am genuinely here to help you.
Sending you all my love & light,
Your coach, intuitive & astrologer